Essay 11, First Draft

Colin Burlingham

Mr. H Salsich

8 English

1/12/10

FEAR:

Fear in To Kill A Mockingbird

And in My Life

_____Fear. What is it; where is it; why is it? We often ask ourselves these three basic questions, but have you ever gotten an answer? Have you ever taken the time to look? While I was in the midst of reading To Kill a Mockingbird, fear seemed to be a theme that occurred over and over again and this got me thinking of fear in my own life.

_____ What is fear? According to Dictionary.com fear is "a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, or pain." Fear can come up in every area of your life: in your house; in your car; or even in your school. I know I have experience fear in all aspects of my life. When I was younger, one of my biggest fears was the dark emptiness surrounding me in all directions. Like a thick fog, the shadows would move in and demolish the vision of those stuck within. To prevent this nasty darkness from suffocating me, I would do different things, such as using a night-light or leaving the door open. I can remember playing a game, Ghost-Ghost in the Grave Yard, a game we would play in the basement with two friends, Cathy and Joanne. This game was sort of like Hide and Go Seek, but it was played in complete darkness. I would always leave the light on at the top of the stairs to play, and on one winter’s night, I was playing with them and my sister. Not knowing they had all gone and I was down, deep in the blackened depths beneath my house for so long, I started to see figures move. Scared, I desperately tried to find my way to the ladder that climbed to the heavens above. When I found it, my fear was gone. Three hours in dark solitude, kept company by a solitary thought in my mind, “RUN”.

_____Fear in To Kill a Mockingbird comes up constantly. In Chapter Ten, a strange sight occurs. Scout and Jem see an "old dog down yonder" stumbling toward them. With one leg almost shorter than the others, he moves slowly; it is almost impossible to see the inches of his paw on the pavement. When Cal sees this dog, she freaks. Running as fast as she can; she grabs the phone and instantly calls Atticus. "Mad dog!" She shouts into the phone and hangs up. Now, with even more fear flows through her veins, thinking the Radley family doesn't know this beast is walking aimlessly through the streets. She bangs on their door, but it does no good. Fear. No matter who or where, all people will posses this emotion, this pain, this curse.

_____Where is Fear? Can anyone tell for sure? Is fear nowhere, or everywhere? Fear can be found in every corner of every room; in every street in every city. From Heaven to Hell, you can find fear just about everywhere. Years ago, I went on a boat to a small island called The White Island, up in Maine. We stopped and picnicked on this deserted island, like a crumb in a puddle; we sat, ate small lunches we prepared, and left. A few others and myself went to walk around this morsel, and the others took a shortcut back while I went the long way. When I got back, I was the only one. Alone in solitude, I sat, fearing they would not come back. Fearing I would be stuck on this small rock they call an island. Ten minutes passed and I saw something in the distance. It was my family speeding to the rescue. Apparently, with the rush of a forgotten ferry to the mainland, they did not look to see who was on the vessel. Reunited with the crowd, we sped back and it was then that I realized fear is everywhere and I will never forget that.

_____Fear is in every area of this amazing planet. In To Kill a Mockingbird, you will find fear in every chapter; every page; every line; and in almost every sentence. You can literally not go through a single chapter without experiencing some fear. From the fear of people to going to jail; you can not miss this emotion. On page 76, Scout is speaking of fear of Boo Radley crawling through the night. On page 86, Scout is scared of snow, thinking it was "the worlds end," and there is more: on page 92, there is a fire at Ms. Maudie's house with the whole town scared. On page 139, Scout was freaking out at what Jem was doing. On page 157, Scout was nervous the people at Cal's church would hurt her. On pages 201, 266, 270, and 282, you can find fear and there is much more. It is impossible to miss this cloud of impending danger in this book.

_____From time to time, I ask myself, why is fear? Fear is an emotion far older than time itself. We don't know why or how it became to be, but there are those legends, such as Pandora’s Box, a box carried by Pandora herself and when she opened this mystical object, terrible things were released upon the world, but one of the worst was fear. Legends can tell us nothing, or everything. It is all in what you believe, but until the day we truly find out why fear is, we will never know.

_____A great man once said, "There is nothing to fear, but fear itself (Franklin D. Roosevelt)." This quote connects in my life and in To Kill a Mockingbird. What is fear; where is fear; why is fear? You must not ask other people what, where or why fear takes place in our lives, but instead, ask what it would be like without fear. Is the thought of living without fear scare you?