Essay 7 Final Draft

Colin Burlingham
Mr. H Salsich
8 English
10/28/09

Trepidation:
An Essay about Fear in My Life

_____(TS) Halloween is a night where people of all ages dress in scary costumes, collect candy, and fear the nights surprises. (CM)You can trick or treat; you can scare small children; or you can even toilet paper a house to have fun on Halloween. (CM)The frightened children will run around and amuse themselves on this joyous occasion. (CS)In my life, I have had many fears and they will continue to come, but I will keep over coming them.

_____(TS)Fear is in all our lives no matter where we are, where we have been, or where we will go. (SD)When I was very young, I had one big fear: being alone in a big room with no light. (CM)This scared me until I was around the age of five and on one particular day, my sister turned out the lights and locked the door to the basement so I was stuck in my worst nightmare. (CM)I was freaking out, thinking monsters would come and take me away, but after some time of facing my fear alone, I was freed from the horrible torture. (SD)To this day, one of my current fears is death of parents, of Caroline, of relatives and of close friends. (CM)I have always been afraid of death; to be alone in this big world would be an appalling experience. (CM)My family is the most important thing in this world to me, and without family, I don’t know what I would do. (SD)In the future, I am sure I will have many fears: failing big exams, not getting into college, or even not getting a decent job. (CM)My future is very important to me and I know that fears will be apart of it. (CM)The future will be hard, but I will do my best to over come each fear as it rises up to face me. (CS)No matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, I will always have apprehension.

_____(TS)Fear, consternation, trepidation, apprehension; these are the entire lexis that may come up in our daily lives. (SD)Many people all over the world have truly seen fear at its highest point. (CM)When I was scuba diving in the British Virgin Islands over the summer, and I looked down at my air gauge, I felt that fear. (CM)It was practically depleted and my guide, not understanding, would not let me go back to the surface. (SD)Earlier in my life, when I was about five years old, I was on one of the White Islands in Maine playing on the rocks that were dampened by the vigorous waves. (CM)Quickly, I slipped and I fell to what I thought was the end and this is when my fear began. (CM)The last moment I remember is when I woke up briefly; my mom yelling at my dad to go faster in the boat; my aunt freaking out in the bow of the boat, and speeding through the big and little waves; I then blacked out. (SD)In addition, last year, I was in my mom’s BMW convertible leaving Farmholme Road when we got stuck in traffic in the thinnest part of the road. (CM)On the other side of the road, an eighteen wheeler came up and hit a rock which made the entire thing slant down at us. (CM)Looking up, all I could see was a tractor, green with big wheels, and the optical illusion that is was moving towards us. (CS)Fear consists of being afraid and I have truly experienced this scary complex process of emotions.

_____(SD)Halloween has always been a great holiday and an American tradition. (CM)We can trick or treat, or scare young ones on this dark night of horror. (CM)Everyone enjoys themselves, hanging out with their friends and family, and the candy collected is always revered. (CS)Halloween may be a night of fear in the neighborhoods, but children everywhere have learned to overcome their fears and enjoy themselves on this spooky night.

Essay 6, Final Draft

Colin Burlingham
Mr. H Salsich
8 English
10/21/09

Two of a Kind:
The Similarities and

Differences of
Jem and Scout

_____(SD)Autumn is a time where wind, rain and old dying leaves whip at your face in all directions. (CM)Miserable as the weather may be, this is a time of excitement and joy. (CM)Various holidays such as Halloween and Thanksgiving are when you spend time with your friends and family, and all the leaves fall off the trees. (CS)This is about leaves in particular; they may be different colors, shapes, or sizes, but they will always be the same on the inside.
_____(TS)In chapter seven of To Kill a Mockingbird, Scout and Jem, brother and sister, both very smart siblings, are like two leaves on a tree; they sway in the wind; they fall to the ground; they are blown away (anaphora and app. S-V split). (SD)Jem and Scout are like the foliage on a single tree; if one falls, so does the other. (CM)While Scout was thinking of her brother Jem, she said, “If I had gone alone to the Radley Place at two in the morning, my funeral would have been the next afternoon,” and this shows that she is unified with him. (CM)If Jem had died that night at the Radleys, Scout would have also died; two die, or two live, that’s how it works (antithesis). (SD)Occasionally, Jem and Scout can be as different as a pebble and a boulder, two utterly original substances in existence. (CM)Sometimes, nobody can “tell what you’re gonna do lest they live in the same house with you, and even,” then Scout can’t tell what Jem is going to do. (CM)Jem and Scout can be like two different atoms, a negatively and a positively charged nucleus (appositive closer). (SD)The knot-hole, a small fissure (FAST) in a tree with many leaves on the Radley’s property, was a collective spot that someone put rare items in, and this brings Scout and Jem as one when they explore it together. (CM)Once Jem and Scout had found this captivity of exquisite ravishes, they claimed it as their own property. (CM)Mutually, they would gather at the opening to find a new treasure each week, and Scout and Jem cherished these riches, protecting them and examining them together (participle closer). (CS)Close and far, these two, good and bad, work as one collectively (antithesis).
_____(TS)Just like Jem, I have a sister named Caroline, a smart and kind girl, athletic and fun, and we can agree, and we can disagree (antithesis and appositive S-V split). (SD)Caroline and I are like two leaves; we can sit on a branch; we can fall to the ground; and we can blow in the winds to new and exotic places just like leaves (anaphora). (CM)With my sister, I have gone to the end of the world and back, and along the way, we are meeting people and letting our curiosity wander. (CM)A few years ago, we took an amazing adventure to Taiwan and I will remember it always, exploring the city; exploring the hotel; and exploring the waters too (anaphora). (SD)There have always been those dreadful moments when we have disagreed about frivolous things. (CM)In fact, just last week we came back from Middlesex Boarding School and we started arguing about what movie we should watch within the hour of our arrival. (CM)We finally agreed on a movie about a man who lived in New York, working as a photographer for a magazine (participle closer). (SD)Earlier, on a cold summer's night, we were up in North Haven, Maine when we heard a cat, meowing at the door. (CM)We both agreed to not tell anyone about our new secret pet and we would discreetly feed it every night before bed. (CM)One day, it disappeared and did not come back and we were devastated, and this is like Scout and Jems’ knot-hole in the Radley’s tree which was filled in with cement. (CS)Scout and Jem, Caroline and Colin, we are all the same; we are all like the two leaves out in the open; we are all family, and nothing can ever change that (anaphora).
_____(SD)Autumn consists of many occasions where you spend joyous times with your family and friends. (CM)You can hunt for candy during Halloween or have a nice family dinner during Thanksgiving. (CM)One thing that never changes are the leaves falling from the trees; they may look different, yet they are all the same. (CS)To Kill A Mocking Bird is a story of two leaves, two people, and two friends!

Out Line

_____________________Body 1__________

(TS)Two leaves on a tree
_(SD)Foliage
__(CM)My funeral
__(CM)Jem die, Scout die
_(SD)Pebble and a boulder
__(CM)Tell what you’re gonna do
__(CM)Two different atoms
_(SD)The knot-hole
__(CM)Own property.
__(CM)Find a new treasure each week
(CS)Work collectively

_____________________Body 2__________
(TS)me and Caroline like 2 leaves
_(SD)exotic places
__(CM)meeting people

__(CM)Taiwan
_(SD)disagreeing
__(CM)last week came home
__(CM)argue about movie
_(SD)cat
__(CM)secret

__(CM)like knot-hole
(CS)family

Essay 5, Final Draft

Colin Burlingham

Mr. H Salsich

8th Grade English

10/14/09

Privacy Is Hard To Please:

An essay about Privacy

in To Kill A Mocking Bird

_____(TS)Privacy is like the wind; it comes and it goes. (CM)You can catch it, but it will only get away in the future. (CM)Some people need privacy, and some people don’t need privacy. (CS)In chapter five of To Kill A Mockingbird, privacy is a necessity to Jem and Dill when they are contemplating pranks and schemes.

_____(TS)To have privacy is a hard thing; there is always someone who will try to find out all your secrets. (SD)In the book To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee, privacy is taking place in many places such as in Jem's tree house. (CM)Jem and Dill were spending “most of their time together in the tree house plotting and planning,” and they would only let Scout in if they needed her; otherwise, she was not allowed to share in their secrets. (CM)Scout later gave up because Jem and Dill wanted their privacy badly. (SD)One day, Scout was sitting with Miss Maudie, a wise old woman, and they were talking about Boo Radley, saying he probably had many secrets in his house that were kept private. (CM)“What happens in houses behind closed doors, what secrets—,” those few words left them wondering, what was in the house and what was he keeping private? (CM)Boo Radley is known by all, and unknown by all (antithesis). (SD)On one of Jem and Dills brilliant schemes, Scout comes and helps them keep lookout while they try to give a note to Boo Radley, but unfortunately, Atticus comes and tells them to stop. (CM)Atticus feels that if Boo “[…] wanted to come out, he would,” but if he “wanted to stay inside free from the attentions […]” from the rest of the people in Maycomb, he should be allowed. (CM)Atticus also thinks that even if Boo seems cool and mysterious, he should be able to have his privacy. (CS)Privacy can be hard to obtain; many people work hard to get it, such as Boo Radley, but many people also try to stop it and expose the person’s secrets, such as Jem and Dill.

_____(TS)Every now and then, I will yearn for diminutive moments of privacy. (SD)A few days ago during my dad’s band practice, the singer brought two young kids over because she could not find a baby sitter. (CM)All the kids wanted to do was play video games, but I did not know that they would get so excited; they immediately started screaming and running around. (CM)Then they started playing with the computer I was doing my homework on so I had to start over on my mom’s computer and all I wanted was some privacy. (SD)Earlier, during the summer, I was playing with my friend, when his neighbor came up and wanted to play. (CM)The neighbor would not leave, a stranger with a round and plump body (appositive closer). (CM)This was like when Jem and Dill “spent the days together in the tree house plotting and planning,” and they would only allow Scout in if they needed her to help in their private plots. (SD)One morning, I was on a short jog when I saw a man, privately sleeping in his backyard. (CM)All of a sudden, he was hit in the head with a water balloon thrown by two kids and we got soaked. (CM)This is the same as when Scout, Jem, and Dill were trying to put the note in the Radley house, they were intruding on his personal space and privacy. (CS)Everyone will enjoy privacy while they have it, but when it is gone, they will eagerly try to get it back.

_____(TS)The wind comes and goes, just like privacy. (CM)One day it will be here, sitting in the palm of your hand like a butterfly, and later, it will silently fly away. (CM)Everyone needs privacy such as Mr. Radley, but you should never have it all the time. (CS) In the words of a great person, “The real danger is the gradual erosion of individual liberties through automation, integration, and interconnection of many small, separate record-keeping systems, each of which alone may seem innocuous, even benevolent, and wholly justifiable (quoteland.com).”

Out Line

TS: Always no privacy
SD: During band practice, 2 kids came over
CM: Singers kids playing video games, excitedly jumping and cheering
CM: Kept running and playing with computer I was using
SD: Playing with friend
CM: Did not want to include neighbor
CM: Jem and Dill planning, not want Scout
SD: On run and see man sleeping
CM: Two kids come up and nail him with a water balloon
CM: Like Jem, Scout, and Dill putting note in Radley house
CS: Everyone can enjoy privacy, not many get it

Essay 4, Final Draft

Out Line

1st body

TS: Articus (S-V split) feels that education is important

SD: Articus enjoys teaching Scout

CM: looks forward to reading every night

CM: wants her to stay in school

SD: don’t be like Burris Ewell

CM: Disgrace of town

CM: Lives like animal

SD: Articus makes a deal

CM: go to school and we will read

CM: keep deal secret

CS: Articus feels strongly about education

2nd body

TS: education should be fun, you learn your own way, and learn by doing

SD: education should be fun

CM: you will remember better

CM: Scout had fun learning with father

SD: should do what you want to do

CM: learn how you want and are good at

CM: Scout liked to learn with her dad

SD: learn by doing

CM: Scout learned to read by practicing

CM: if she waited till school, she would be bad

CS: important to do things the way you want

Second Draft For Grading

Colin Burlingham

Mr. H Salsich

English 8

10/7/09

EDUCATION:
An Essay About How Atticus
Feels About Education

(TS)When I was younger, I would ask my parents why I had to go to school. (CM)Every time, they would both say that I needed to learn the basics of knowledge that everyone would need to live a productive life and that if I did learn this, I would grow up to be very successful. (CM)Thinking this, I would get up early and I was excited for school. (CS)Atticus, Scouts father, also thinks that education is extremely important.
(TS)Atticus, a smart and kind man, the father of Scout and Jem, feels that education is exceedingly important (app. S-V split). (SD)Atticus enjoys teaching Scout, a very smart young girl, very much, and he reads with her almost every night, but when Scout told him this had to stop, he was devastated. (CM)Atticus was waiting with the paper excided to read when Scout sadly said, “[…] If I on goin’ to school, we can’t ever read any more…” and that made Atticus awfully sad and he was curios why he could not teach her any more. (CM)After Scout told him what had happened that day, Atticus then tells Scout that she should stay in school and put her self in Ms. Caroline’s “[…] skin and walk around in it,” you will never understand the person and why they have done what they have done. (SD)After that, Atticus told Scout he did not want Scout to be anything like the Ewell family. (CM)The Ewell family only goes to school the first day of the year and they are the disgrace of the town. (CM)The Ewells, dirty rotten misfits, live like animals and they also have never worked an honest day in their lives according to Atticus and most of the town. (SD)Later, Atticus strikes up a great deal with Scout; “If you’ll concede the necessity of going to school, we’ll go on reading every night just as we always have,” and then Scout agrees with this clever barging. (CM)Atticus then tells Scout to keep this deal quiet because if Ms. Caroline, the kind, discipline, school teacher, finds out, she would hunt him down (app. S-V split). (CM)Atticus thinks that he should still be aloud to teach Scout, but he respects her as the teacher and does not want to get in her way. (CS)As you can see, Atticus has very strong feelings toward education and wants Scout to go to school no madder what so she can learn and fit in with everyone around her.
(TS)I think education should be taught the way you learn best and you should learn by doing something fun with it. (SD)According to Wikipedia.com, fun is an activity that is enjoyable or amusing. (CM)Education should be fun, and I think that you will remember what you have learned better if the teacher makes it amusing for you. (CM)When Atticus and Scout were reading in the evenings, sitting on the couch reading the paper, he made education fun and enjoyable for Scout, reading was learned faster and more efficiently. (SD)If you are being taught, you should also be educated in the manner that best suits you, learning from hands on experiences (participle closer). (CM)If all you do is read books, that gets boring fast and you zone out, but if you go out and learn how you want to, you will remember it longer. (CM)On Scout’s first day of school, she was very frustrated and mad because she did not want to learn the way the teacher was demonstrating, but when she was being taught by Atticus, Scout learned more because she enjoyed it more. (SD)I also think that you will learn better by doing something, like the old and renowned quote, “Actions speak louder than words.” (CM)Scout had learned by practicing and practicing every night with her dad and not by just saying she would learn someday. If Scout had waited until she started school to learn, she would have been the worst in the class and since she didn’t like the teacher, Ms. Caroline, she would be really bad and would have barely learned anything. I think it is extraordinarily imperative (F.A.S.T.) to learn the way you want to and that will make you an enhanced scholar.
(TS)According to Dictionary.com, education is the act or process of imparting or acquiring general knowledge, developing the powers of reasoning and judgment, and generally of preparing oneself or others intellectually for a mature life. (CM)Atticus thinks that education is one of the most important aspects of life and he wants his daughter, Scout, to be apart of it. (CM)I feel that Atticus has helped Scout to prepare her self for life and helped her be educated. (CS)If Atticus continues on this road of educating Scout, I think he will have helped her become a brilliant and successful woman.